This Day In Gay Utah History February 14th

 

This Day In Gay Utah History February 14th

14 February

1903 Ogden Standard Examiner Random References Section page 5 The preliminary hearing of Steve Hubble a colored man charged with a crime against nature is taking place at the municipal court this afternoon. Judge Bagley is acting for the defense and county Attorney Hulaniski for the state

1965-A six-part series began running in the Denver Post on the problems homosexuality poses to society.

1976- Salt Lake City's first official Gay awards banquet called the Salt Lick Seagull Awards Banquet was held at the Sunset Room at the Sun Tavern by the Imperial Court of Utah. Approximately 30 awards were given including "Best Baths Attendants", "Judy Garland Comeback of the Year" and "Best Advise Bitch of the Year".

1977- A Gay Valentines Day Party held at Radio City Lounge, SLC UT. Patrons charged 20 cents for Mixes and Drafts!

1978- Valentine's Day Party at the Club Comeback SLC UT to celebrate its first anniversary.

1978- The Advocate sent out press packets to newspaper agencies across the United States regarding the upcoming publishing of the Payne Papers. The religion editor of a newspaper in Oregon sent a copy of the Advocate press packet to a Mormon friend, who forwarded it to Dallin Oaks at BYU. Oaks then drafted a letter to Boyd K. Packer warning him that "in view of this national publication, and the accusations it makes…your (upcoming) remarks are likely to get wide newspaper coverage and to be viewed by many against the background of this article and these charges”.

1985-The University of Utah University of Utah Lesbian and Gay Student Union fought and won a case against the Daily Utah Chronicle when they refused to print two Valentine ads that included the word "Lesbian". Mihcael Aaron wrote: This was one of my most favorite times in all my gaystory. Poet Brook Hallock had written two poems for her then-girlfriend, Nancy Perez. I remember one ending in "Lesbianly Yours." The Chronicle had written stories almost every other day for the year, calling us the Lesbian and Gay Student Union. I appealed on Brook's behalf to the Publications Council, which oversaw the paper. Only the council, the newspaper's editor and I were allowed in the room. The first words out of my mouth referred to a news story that broke in the Tribune about a college professor making a controversial remark in class, somehow declaring black people "spades." I said, "Let's call a spade a .... small shovel — it is ridiculous we are having to sit in this room." The entire council laughed and vocally agreed that it was a waste of their time. I mentioned the number of times the paper had printed the word "lesbian" and said that the author was a well-respected poet. The editor blathered on about who was in charge of the paper, without really addressing the issue at-hand. The council took offense to the editor thinking he had full control, and decided right then and there that the paper would be forced to print the valentines and we were out the door. The front-page headline was in monstrously large type, screaming "CHRONICLE FORCED TO PRINT OFFENSIVE VALENTINES. WHO'S IN CHARGE IS IN QUESTION." Feather in my cap.

• 1985 Parsons, Buck Get 4 Months for Perjury COLUMBIA, S.C. — Former South Carolina women's basketball Coach Pam Parsons and ex-player Tina Buck were sentenced to four months in prison Wednesday for lying to a federal jury during a libel trial. U.S. District Judge Clyde Hamilton actually sentenced the pair to three years but suspended all but four months. They will be on probation for five years. The perjury charges stemmed from Parsons' unsuccessful $75-million libel suit against Time Inc. The former coach sued after a February 1982 Sports Illustrated article depicted her as a lesbian involved in a love affair with Buck. Hamilton ordered a perjury investigation after conflicting testimony during the nine-day trial last May. Parsons and Buck pleaded guilty to perjury charges in November, admitting they lied during the trial about frequenting a Salt Lake City lesbian nightclub.
• 1985 Parsons Jailed for Perjury COLUMBIA, S.C., (UPI) - Pam Parsons, the former women's basketball coach at the University of South Carolina, and Tina Buck, one of her former players, were sentenced to four months in prison today for lying to a Federal jury during a libel trial. United States District Judge Clyde Hamilton sentenced each of them to three years in prison but suspended all but four months of each They will be on probation for five years. They will report to a Federal prison in Lexington, Ky., later this month. Judge Hamilton presided over Miss Parsons's unsuccessful $75 million libel suit against Time Inc. Miss Parsons sued after a February 1982 article in Sports Illustrated depicted her as a lesbian involved in a love affair with the player. Judge Hamilton ordered a federal perjury investigation after conflicting testimony during the nine-day trial last May. Both women pleaded guilty to perjury charges in November, admitting they lied during the trial about frequenting a Salt Lake City lesbian nightclub. Both Miss Parsons and Miss Buck apologized in court today for their perjury.

1986 Utah’s Murray School District policy on AIDS follows recommendations from the CDC in Atlanta calls for a student to be placed in an alternative study program away from school when AIDS is first diagnosed. Employees with the disease will not be allowed to work until a decision is made in how to deal with the problem. A contracted employee may be entitled to benefits while off the job. (Salt Lake Tribune B-3)

1987-Mormon Apostle Dallin H. Oakes stated that "he did not know whether individual priesthood leaders had given such advice, " when asked if the church had counseled homosexuals to marry as a cure for homosexuality in an program entitled "LDS Policy on Homosexuality Reaffirmed " during a CBS TV Interview ."

1988 The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire's King and Queen of Hearts Ball was held at Club Backstreet in SLC, UT.

Bruce Barton

1988- Sunday I went to church at Resurrection Metropolitan Church and there was a very small turn out. I could tell that Bruce Barton was disappointed. There was less then 10 people but he gave a wonderful sermon on “Going Home” meaning heaven.  I sat with James Connelly on the front row.

1989 Tuesday  Unconditional Support  officer Ray Neilson led the meeting at Unconditional Support with the topic being Our Most Romantic Date. After the meeting the group went to see Torch Song Trilogy

1991 The Utah AIDS Foundation and local participating Massage Therapists cooperated for a "Have a Heart" fund-raiser to benefit AIDS research. on Valentine's Day, all participating therapists donated individual earnings for that day to the Utah  AIDS Foundation.

1991 Wasatch Leathermen Motorcycle Club of Utah sponsored a four day President’s Day Trip to Phoenix.

1991-275 Gay and lesbian couples registered their relationships in San Francisco at City Hall after voters passed a domestic partnership law.

1992- Pioneer Utah AIDS Activist David Sharpton left Salt Lake City and returned to

David Sharpton

 Lancaster, Texas, in February as AIDS progressed after being hospitalized for two weeks. He would succumb in July.

1994- The Mormon First Presidency issued a statement that reads, in part, “We encourage members to appeal to legislators, judges, and other government officials to preserve the purpose and sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, and reject all efforts to give legal authorization or other official approval or support to marriages between persons of the same gender.”

1998-The National Black Lesbian and Gay Leadership Forum announced that Jubi D. Headley Jr. had been hired as the organizations new executive director.

Faulkner & Johnson 

1999 There was a Valentine's Day presentation on love, commitment, relationships and union ceremonies at the Weber State University Union building room 338-340.   A video of a commitment ceremony was shown and then a panel lead a discussion about long-term relationships, love, commitment and more. The panel consisted of Tracy and Marilyn Johnson-Faulkner, Robert King and his partner Richard, Rev. Bruce Barton and his partner Bruce Harmon and Kathy Worthington. Kathy's partner Sara Hamblin was in the audience.

1999-At New York's St Patrick's Day Parade, state senator Tom Duane and city councilwoman Christine Quinn were arrested for demonstrating on behalf of Gays and lesbians who wanted to participate.

2000-82 couples in Denver Colorado registered their relationships on the day the domestic partnership registry took effect. Denver was the 36th US city to enact a domestic partnership registry. Denver mayor Wellington Webb and other city officials congratulated the couples in a brief ceremony at the city and county building rotunda.

2000 Feb 14th NEW!!!  Women's Support/Social group 7 pm Middle Meeting Room All women are welcome to come participate in this facilitated group discussion on issues that are important to you!  This will be a safe space for women to talk with other women about their experiences, socialize, and get support around coming out, life, relationships, and more.  Occurs every Monday at 7 PM

14 February 2000  Page: A6 Vermont Offers Gay Couples Benefits -- But Not Marriage Proposal's distinction adds to the firestorm  BY ELIZABETH MEHREN   LOS ANGELES TIMES   MONTPELIER, Vt. --    With Valentine's Day upon us, Lois Farnham was moved to wonder, "Have you ever seen a romantic song written about your registered partner?"    The question has special meaning for Farnham, a school nurse who for 27 years has lived with Holly Puterbaugh, a lecturer in mathematics at the University of Vermont. Puterbaugh and Farnham want to get married, a civil rite that they believe is their civil right.  Along with two other same-sex couples, the pair filed a lawsuit that in December produced the state Supreme Court's landmark ruling ordering the Legislature to enact a law granting Gay and lesbian couples the same rights and privileges as heterosexual married couples. Acting on the court's mandate, a legislative committee Wednesday unveiled a 22-page proposal that skirts the term "marriage" in favor of a far-reaching domestic partnership system for Gay and lesbian couples. The carefully crafted document only added fuel to the firestorm that has vaulted Vermont into the center of a passionate debate on the subject of same-sex marriage. As Vermont appears poised to become the first state to enact such sweeping same-sex benefits, outsiders have descended on the Green Mountain state to lobby for both sides. Gay organizations see Vermont as leading the charge for an effort that failed in Hawaii and Alaska. Presidential candidates find themselves fielding questions about what will happen if Gay marriage, or some variation, is legalized here. Christian-right radio talk-show host Randall Terry is so appalled that he has set up shop just a few hundred feet from the gold-domed state Capitol. "This is an assault on the institution of marriage," said Terry, founder of Operation Rescue, the anti-abortion group based in Binghamton, N.Y. "It's their Normandy Beach. It's the immoral victory that they – the homosexual community -- have been looking for." Many cities have extended certain benefits to couples who are not married, including Gay and lesbian couples. But the scope of the effort in Vermont, said T.J. Tu of the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, a New York-based Gay-rights group, is "clearly a watershed that could push the Gay-rights agenda in a direction we never thought possible even 10 years ago." For better or for worse, as they say in the marriage trade, national urgency is of scant concern in a state that prides itself on tolerance and individualism. "Most of us have a philosophy of live and let live," said Tom Little, a Republican who chairs the Judiciary Committee in the state House of Representatives. Among Vermont's 548,000 residents, there is no evidence that the homosexual population is greater or smaller than elsewhere. Still, said Little, "the reality is that in Vermont, there are a lot of families where the model is not a so-called traditional nuclear family. There are a lot of single-parent families and a lot of families where two adults of the same gender are raising children." In many ways, said state Rep. Bill Lippert, a Democrat who serves with Little on the committee that drafted the proposal for same-sex partnership, Vermont is "essentially one community, with many small communities within it." Lippert, a psychologist who for seven years has lived with a male partner, said the state's heritage of tolerance has helped Gay and lesbian residents to "bring our stories to our neighbors, to our towns, to our communities."    Yet Lippert was one of three members of the 11-member committee who voted against legislative wording that chose partnership over marriage in the draft legislation. The wording pleased Democratic Gov. Howard Dean, who stated repeatedly that he was uncomfortable extending the term "marriage" to same-sex couples. For his part, Lippert said he was disappointed that rather than amending the state's conventional marriage statute, the committee sought parallel legal status.    Middlebury psychotherapist Stannard Baker, also a plaintiff in the original lawsuit, shared that sentiment. " Being a registered partner is a little like being a person of color during apartheid in South Africa," Baker said. "No matter how good they make it, it will still be second-class." Little said he expected the state House, made up of 67 Republicans, 77 Democrats, four Progressives and two Independents, to vote on the measure by mid-March and the state Senate by mid-April.  The domestic-partnership proposal applies exclusively to same-sex couples. Just as heterosexual couples obtain marriage licenses, Gay and lesbian couples would obtain domestic partnership licenses.

2003 Join special invited guests for an evening of wonderful wines and scrumptuous chocolates from some of Salt Lake's best restaurants and chocolatiers. Music, art, a silent auction and raffle round out the evening. F 8-10pm at Angles Gallery at 511 West 200 South in Salt Lake City. Make Valentine's Day special for your special someone. Our guide for the perfect date: 6pm: Dinner at your favorite restaurant 8pm: Divine Decadence 10pm: Dancing at your favorite club Proceeds benefit the Salt Lake Men's Choir, celebrating 20 years as "Utah's OTHER Choir." Tickets are $20 in advance, twenty five at the door 

2003 I was on one yesterday,  got bothered again by the assimulationists....Then found out that two projects that I had been advising people on (Flag Team, and Marching Band) were to be assimilated, and the two people in charge of each were to get a paid job at the Center.....It is nice to know they  have so much money to pay everyone...We will all be assimulated soon, sorted, and then some marched off to the Gas Chamber. I tired of everything ending up with them...again who made them Lord  and Master in SLC...They need to learn their place... [Notes of Chad Keller]

2003 A Utah legislator has dropped plans to pursue a resolution urging Congress to back a Federal Marriage Amendment. Sen. Thomas Hatch, R-Panguitch, said the proposal did not make much sense since Congress will not be taking up the matter this year. The National Family Alliance, which recruited him to carry the resolution, asked him to back off. SLTribune

2003 Dear Ms. Wolfe: Everyone is asking about Pride Day… This week it has surfaced that many prominent individuals and organizations have been asked to participate as “Producing Partners” in Pride Day, according to an “acceptability rating.” That any, organizations may have accepted or are even considering accepting this invitation smacks of elitism and they should be ashamed.  Everyone should be asking why some elements in the community have not been asked to participate as a “Producing Partner” and others have not. What are the criteria for being on the list and who is making such a list? Those who are truly interested in the benefit of the entire sexual minority community should be seeking an inclusive process at the Pride Day planning table not an exclusive one, before making a financial commitment. This attempt to divide the community into two camps, those who can afford to fund Pride Day and those who cannot, is insidious and has an undercurrent of greed which is destructive to the historic spirit of Gay Pride Day.  There is already a perceived notion that there have been many poor choices made relating to the merger of Pride Day with the Center. Many believe an official announcement relating to the merger of the GLCCU and Pride Day has not occurred due to the backlash that is slowly building in the community. This silence gives the appearance of a "keep ‘em in the dark, they’ll soon loose interest, then we can do it our way" philosophy.  Backroom secret deals may be a way of life in Utah but they do not have to be. Gay Pride Day is not about just a handful of organizations or people. It is about every GLBTIQ organization, person, and business, no matter whether they are acceptable to the boards of the Center and Pride Day. Participation in Pride Day definitely should not be about who can afford to it. Are organizations only acceptable as a Producing Partner by paying an expected residual? Invitations to participate should be given to all. To deny anyone that opportunity denies him or her the right to choose to contribute financially and ideologically as they can and are willing. These invitations should come without compromise and without terms of allegiance to anything but Gay Pride Day. If Pride is truly a community event, as its new owner professes it to be, there must be an equal representation all GLBTIQ people. To do otherwise is a sham and the organization needs to change its direction and focus to perhaps a Center Party Day.  If indeed this is a community event by a non profit agency then as a community we have a right to know the selection process for this and other matters involving our Gay Pride Day. Most importantly we deserve to know why all GLBTIQ organizations were not given the same equal opportunity to participate. In addition Gay Pride was never meant to be a huge moneymaker for just a handful of organization, in fact historically the community demanded that it just break even, with enough seed money to get started the next year. This insured that every person and organization in the community could participate without regard to their social standing or financial prowess. To take it down a path that is different than this basic concept may prove to further damage our community.  Until there can be full disclosure on the 2002 finances for Pride, and an acceptable plan presented to the community that is inclusive of all people and organizations wishing to participate in our community GLBTIQ Pride Day, then we should, no we must, start encouraging sponsors to withhold funds to both. We as a community should close our checkbook to an organization that has lost contact with those who built it nor who will open its “public” books for inspection. To continue in the current manner is deceitful and can not represent the entire community. It is time for a full disclosure of the 2002 books. They should be reviewed by an independent outside source to insure all billing was properly dealt with and handled. Further it will insure that all sponsorships were collected and processed accordingly. Any discrepancy that leads to a short fall should immediately be addressed and legal action taken if necessary. What is occurring now, and the process by it appears to be a self-serving ploy leaves many with a lack of confidence in Pride Day leadership. Secret meetings, Blind faith and closed books led to the embezzlement of money by a previous Pride Co-Chair. We have the right to be skeptical. [Letter of Chad Keller to Paula Wolfe]

2005 The Anti-Valentines Day Movie Night 7pm Showing of "Friends & Family" about a hip Manhattan gay couple who have it all, until a surprise visit from Stephen's parents threatens to blow the boys' big secret. The secret?  Not that they're gay - but that they are hit men for the mafia! 

2005-QUARTER-ANNUAL MEET-AND-GREET COFFEEHOUSE MEETING of Pink Pistols Our quarter-annual Meet-and-Greet coffeehouse meeting is planned for  Feb. 15 at 7:00 p.m. at A Cup of Joe Coffeehouse at 353 West 200 South in Salt Lake City (3-minutes from Salt Lake City), (801)363-8322.

Stuart Merrill

2006 Tuesday •      At 10:30 am, (Valentine’s Day), KCPW’s Midday Metro with Lara Jones interviewed Stuart Merrill about the on-going struggle with the Utah State Legislature to get state funding for HIV medication. We have suffered some major setbacks in the past few days. Please listen so you can hear what you can do to help us in our fight. Joining us will be Judi Hillman from the Family Investment Coalition & Coalition for Medicaid. KCPW is at 88.3 FM, 105.3 FM and 1010 AM. Tuesday at Noon in the West Capitol Building Main Lobby, will be a Valentine’s Day Press Conference “SHARE THE LOVE”. Our Utah State Executive Appropriations Committee wants to cut funding for HIV Medication, Utah Child Abuse Prevention, Child Dental, Adult Dental, Adult Vision, Children’s Mental Health, Nursing Recruitment, Obesity Initiative, Domestic Violence, and more… PLEASE JOIN US!!! To show your support and outrage at these cuts!Remember to leave yourself plenty of time to park.

Chris Butters

2006 Ban on Gay Clubs Debated, Held By Matt Canham The Salt Lake Tribune Salt Lake Tribune One of the Legislature’s most anticipated bills received its first public hearing Monday in front of a standing-room only crowd. But the Senate Education Committee didn’t feel prepared to vote on Sen. Chris Buttars’ bill that would abolish high school gay support clubs. Instead they moved on, allowing the bill to resurface at some later date. Buttars, who is still hospitalized with an undisclosed illness, was not present to explain his intent and how he feels SB97 would change the education system. He has previously said the 14 Gay-Straight Alliances in Utah public schools are “conditioning clubs” meant to engender societal acceptance for homosexuality. He also charges that students in these clubs discuss sex inappropriately. But the only person present Monday to support Buttars’ bill was a member of the Eagle Forum, a conservative morals group upset by the recently formed Gay-Straight Alliance at Provo high. All other speakers attacked the proposal. A representative of the state school board called the bill “unnecessary encroachment” into the board’s authority and said it is peppered with potentially unconstitutional provisions. Margaret Plane of the American Civil Liberties Union said the bill would violate the federal Equal Access Act by restricting students in clubs from discussing their own sexual orientation or their views about sexual orientation. A student from Hunter High School, who is not a member of the Gay-Straight Alliance, said his community would lose out if Buttars’ bill passes. Brandon Monson, a senior who identified himself as straight, said the legislation would “make the community my family lives in a less open, safe and diverse place.” Committee Chairman Sen. Dave Thomas, R-South Weber, wanted to debate the bill’s constitutionality, but his colleagues didn’t. The committee voted to move on to other bills. Sen. Dan Eastman, R-Bountiful, said the testimony raised issues that would have to be addressed before he felt comfortable voting on the bill, and he doubted the answers would come from senators. “I don’t think we had answers to any of the questions presented to us,” he said. Eastman said the committee could debate the issue again once Buttars regains his health or another senator takes over for him. Another, more likely, possibility is that Rep. Aaron Tilton, R- Springville, will attempt to move a similar bill in the House. Tilton expects HB393 to be heard in a House committee on Wednesday. 

2009 Straight couples rooting for gay-rights bill, too When Rep. Jennifer Seelig thinks of who would benefit from her so-called gay-rights bill, it's usually not a gay or lesbian couple. It's an elderly widow who leans on a son for support, two sisters who live together and -- perhaps most commonly -- unmarried straight couples like her Rose Park neighbors Joey Behrens and Brent Grabler. Author:    Rosemary Winters The Salt Lake Tribune

2009 Three gay-rights bills clear hurdles, make it out of Utah House panel Three gay-rights bills, all sponsored by Salt Lake City Democrats, cleared legislative hurdles Friday. The measures, considered long shots, have made it out of the sometimes-bill-blocking House Rules Committee and scored public hearings. Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck's HB288 -- which would allow unmarried couples, including gay and lesbian partners, to adopt and foster children in Utah -- will be debated Tuesday before the House Health and Human Services Committee. Author:    Rosemary Winters The Salt Lake Tribune

2010 Richard Loren Dotson died in Magna age 75 years. Dick Dotson was a companion to Donald Steward both long time AIDS activists. Dotson with Steward founded the Horizon House to provide client services to the general AIDS community and perhaps, as some critics insinuated, to placate the LDS sensibilities of Utahns who viewed UAF as a gay organization. Bad feelings were rife between the two AIDS service providers from the start, but they boiled over in 1991, when after a disparaging letter written by Stuart McDonald, was sent to the National People With AIDS Coalition. McDonald attacked the Horizon House and the integrity of Dick Dotson, causing the national AIDS conference that was scheduled to be held in Salt Lake City to be pulled.

2016 Mama Dragons breathe fire to protect their young by  Genelle Pugmire  Dailey Herald Provo Utah Kim Ditty is no stranger to prayer. It was the prayer Ditty offered outside the intensive care unit where her son was holding on to life that started her on a journey of peace, discovery, and to the Mama Dragons. What are Mama Dragons? 

Gina Crivello

If you haven’t heard of the Mama Dragons, there is a good chance you will — soon. The group is growing exponentially on a daily basis. They are LDS women who have lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, or queer children or they mentor them. Recently they have been joined by women of other faiths. Mama Dragons will do just about anything to protect their children — if needed even breathe fire and brandish their claws. In May of 2013, Meg Abhau coined the term “mama dragon” on her blog. It was shared on Facebook groups like Mormons Building Bridges and LDS gay social media groups. Women with LGBTQ+ children identified with her term, according to Gina Crivello, founder of Mama Dragons. Crivello, earlier that year had begun her own blog. Many people began sharing their feelings with her through her blog. She also got many responses through instant messaging. “They didn't mind the cramped quarters because it was filled with unconditional love and safety,” Crivello said. “No lurking ward members. No tattletales. No judgement for unsanitized expressions of feelings.” Crivello, who started in dragons as a fully active member of the LDS Church, has since asked for her name to be removed from the records of the LDS Church. She added, “Mama Dragons doesn’t want to destroy the church, we want the church to stop destroying our kids.” By the end of 2013 Crivello said she saw a need for these conversations to continue and set up a Facebook group for them and set the privacy setting to "secret" — not because she didn’t want anyone to know about the group, but because they needed an emotionally safe place to share. “It quickly became clear that Mama Dragon has to somehow be a part of the (groups) title,” Crivello said. Now, just two years later, there are more than 725 members of Mama Dragons from Australia to Canada. Women who want to join are vetted to make sure their intentions and needs match the mission of the group. Several locations like in Seattle have started their own local groups and even have in-person get-togethers. Meet the Dragons

Kim and Anthony Ditty

To understand how an active LDS relief society president can find comradery with a dragon, who has left the faith and takes issue with the LDS Church, is a compelling story of support, love and acceptance. When Ditty’s son, Anthony, was 14 he started bit by bit talking about being gay around the house. It was nothing in detail, but he would bring it up to see how his LDS family would react to the notion. He told them he was gay when he was 15. “I was a naïve parent and didn’t think that way, that my child was gay,” said Kim Ditty. “When he did come out, I said, ‘Oh no you’re not. Hanging out with the girls doesn’t make you gay’.” Kim Ditty said she always believed that same-sex attraction is something people can overcome. “The route we took, we meant well,” Kim Ditty said. “We had wonderful church leaders. The truth was he wasn’t changing. The final stroke was after his (Anthony’s) mission. I prayed, ‘Lord I’ve done everything as a mother ... the words that came back clear to me was ‘just love him’. I knew Heavenly Father loves those kids.” Anthony said coming out to his LDS family was one of the hardest things he has ever done. “My mom was out of town and I text messaged my dad,” he said. “I didn’t want to see their faces. I didn’t want to say it in person. After I said it, I felt a deep secret and weight go away. I was relieved. Now I must deal with the consequences.” Anthony continued being active in church with his Young Men activities and preparing for his mission. “I’ve always loved serving people,” Anthony said. “I am the oldest of the grandchildren and the oldest child. I wanted to go on a mission.” And serve he did, in the Washington, D.C. South Mission. “My bishop and stake president knew,” Anthony Ditty said. “I served 18 months. There was a lot of anxiety and depression, and I was being over-medicated.” Anthony Ditty was sent to his mission’s psychiatrist, who thought that since he was gay that was the root of the problem. She medicated him for it with anti-psychotics to take away the anxiety and depression of being gay. Even with prayers, fasting and a lot of hard work, it all was too much. “My mission president had my back and sent me home telling me I had fulfilled an honorable mission,” Anthony Ditty said. “At home I started feeling more myself.” Anthony had several suicide attempts before and after his mission. It was about a year after his last attempt when his mother Kim Ditty found the Mama Dragons. “I saw a Mama Dragons story in the Huffington Post and I joined on Facebook,” Kim Ditty said. “Mama Dragons helped me know there are moms out there like me.” While Anthony has not gone to church for a while, his name is still on the records of the LDS Church. Anthony just started a new relationship. His boyfriend also is a returned LDS missionary and was previously engaged to be married in the temple. The engagement was broken, and he came out three months ago. Jill Rowe has a different story. Rowe admits she was a "lazy" 

Mama Dragons

Mormon. And wasn’t quite sure what the gay agenda was. She was a relief society president in California and was raising six children. Life changed when her son came out as gay. As one of the original nine founding Mama Dragons, Rowe said she has learned much about her children and about being gay. “This is not a choice,” Rowe said. “Dragon Mamas teach and love and hope that religion doesn’t get in the way. Kids are asking God to take it away. You can’t pray the gay away.” Rowe said that while they are moms with a cause, the Mama Dragon’s intent is not to destroy the LDS Church or its culture. That said, her concerns have been heightened with the recent changes to the LDS Handbook. Rowe was in disbelief when a premature release of pages to the handbook by former LDS member John Dehlin went viral online. She, like others, was concerned about the children of same-sex couples not being allowed to be blessed, baptized, or receive other ordinances until they are 18 and no longer living with their parents. “The church is in trouble with this next generation,” Rowe said. “When the (LDS) handbook change came out I had to check John Dehlin’s page. Is it true? Even about the kids? Historically a policy is just a policy. With Elder Nelson’s talk (that indicated the handbook change was a direct revelation) it threw everybody for a loop.” Rowe believes the doctrine of Christ is love; he didn’t marginalize them. “How do I tell my son God loves you, but you have to be celibate,” Rowe said. “You know the church has it wrong to tell kids they can’t belong. I can’t look at grandkids and tell them they can’t have it (baptism).” Feelings are so strong on both sides of the discussion that some Mama Dragons are staying anonymous because of retribution. A Mama Dragon in Highland has had to go stealth in her fight, because as one of the founding dragons, she claims to have lost half of her clientele. But her story is just as poignant.  “It was tough when I was first searching, there wasn’t any support,” she said. “I was crying through church. I really struggled. It is so great to have support. I met with my leaders many, many times. It’s a long, long journey for someone who doesn’t understand the issues. If you can influence a leader, that’s the best influence.” She said, “We see kids struggling, they’re scared to death. Parents are unaccepting or parents are frozen. Every child wants to be accepted.” Chrysteil Hunter Bird is an active member of the LDS Church, and she even served a full-time mission. Her journey with her child goes down a different and changing road. “I have a transgender child going from female to male,” Bird said. “My daughter came out 3 1/2 years ago. My son began his transition in August. Thus began my new adventure. It wasn’t a gigantic surprise but we had no foundation for help.” Bird said that about a year ago she started getting impressions to get involved with the LDS LGBT things and she came to know the Mama Dragons. “I was asked to be a member,” Bird said. “They vetted me and then invited me. I met other Mama Dragons that were transgender moms. I have found support for me and educational support. I am learning exponentially faster than I would have. If someone has a question it’s right there for you including scientific research.” The group is growing so fast in Seattle, where Bird is from, they are doing special story projects together and every day chat with each other for support. “It’s really amazing,” Bird said. “I can’t say enough on how incredibly impressed I am with this group of women. Everyone has a valid voice. We don’t always agree but we are compassionate.” Julie Packer said she found  the Mama Dragons when her gay son was having a mid-drug addiction relapse. “He got himself into rehab and when he got out, I posted his picture asking for prayers. I was really hopeful that he was going to make it this time. A few days later he ended his life. Mama Dragons I had never met rallied around me. Some of them drove from Utah and other parts of Idaho to go to his funeral in Southeastern Idaho. I was able to channel my grief into this cause. I really felt like Mama Dragons saved me, in a different way than they save other mothers and I have seen that over and over again, too.” Packer said her son admitted he was tired of pretending about his drug use, even though he said he was comfortable being gay. On the day he died he seemed happy, had served others, and shared time with his mother. He died at age 26. Packer said just posting on Facebook with the Mama Dragons has opened up doors for other kids. “There’s a parent they can talk to,” Packer said. “Anytime I have a chance, I would love help a kid be safe.” Crivello added, “Mama Dragons give children a refuge. They know their child is a miracle from the divine. You’re not crazy loving your kids.”
A dragons keep of support Crivello said there are several resources to help Mama Dragons and parents of LGBT children. For Mama Dragons visit www.mamadragons.net. It will link you to their Facebook page. The Mama Dragons now have a Spanish-speaking branch called "Mama Águilas" (Águilas translates to "eagles" and is used because there isn't a Spanish word for dragon). Recently a group called Dragon Dads has also been started on Facebook. Frequently the Mama Dragons will suggest The Family Acceptance Project booklet (scroll down to view the LDS version). The PDF version may be downloaded free of charge. Its purpose hopes to help families understand as children come out. Along with the booklet is the Families Are Forever video featuring the family of one of the Mama Dragons.