This Day In Gay Utah History April 6th
6 April 6
1978- The Salt Lake City Commission acting on advice of Police Chief Bud Willoughby ordered the parks department to place signs around city park restroom stating; It is unlawful to commit lewd acts in a public area. This area is patrolled by SLCPD Sec. No 32-2-5”. Willoughby stated “It is our opinion that this program would assist us in trying to control the obscene conduct in our parks” Only one was placed in Liberty Park before budget was changed. It remained for 29 years, until April 2007, long after original restrooms were torn down.
1986- At the 6th meeting of Wasatch Affirmation the group voted to meet every Sunday night instead of by-monthly as does the Salt Lake Chapter. Stan Dickey suggested that the 1st Sunday be a pot luck, the 2nd Sunday a guest speaker, the 3rd Sunday special topics and the 4th meeting be a business meeting. There was about 20 people attending.
1987-Critic Roger Ebert criticized the film industry for its irresponsible reaction to the AIDS epidemic.
1991 Mr and Miss Gay Utah USA International Pageant held at Club 108 in SLC UT
1991-Fifty plus Queers from Queer Nation walked from a parking lot at the Capitol Building to the south gate of Temple Square. Amidst dozens of church security and Salt Lake City police officer these Queers took their places to demonstrate against the Mormon Church. The Queers had placards that said, Every tenth Saint is a Queer, Honk for Queers and others. Some Queers were handing out Fashion Citations to those whose dress was not up to standard accompanied by the chant The higher the hair, the closer to heaven.” One Queer waved a fairy wand. They chanted things “2-4-6-8, We don’t over populate” “Stop The Violence, Stop The Hate”. They sang songs such as “Some Where Over The Rainbow”, “The Brady Bunch Theme Song” and others. Later a few neo-Nazi skinheads showed up to put in their less then 2 cents worth. The Skinheads tried to argue with the Queers and began preaching from the Bible, (while others grabbed their crotches, screaming suck this) but for the most part were ignored by the Queers. There was one incident of violence against a Lesbian. An older Mormon man who was attending conference struck the Lesbian, when this occurred the other Queers rushed to her side and blew whistles to inform police officers what happened. The man quickly moved inside the gates of Temple Square, but was later cited for misdemeanor assault. A few days after the protest, members who were still Mormon met at the Church office building for a group excommunication. Members of Queer nation believe that the demonstration was a great success. For many it ended a week of incredible stress with a euphoria that’s didn’t seem like it was ever going to end. Everyone who attended the activity seemed to enjoy being there and being Queer in front of the world. A number of Queer Nation members from Los Angeles, Seattle, and San Francisco commented on how organized Queer Nation in Salt Lake was and how much enthusiasm they had. (Memoirs of Devon Hanson. Bridge May 1991)
- 1991-Memoirs of Lewis a Seattle Attendee of Queer Nation- There are places not very far from here where hate crimes laws are already in effect, complete with reference to sexual orientation. The difference of course is that in Utah, the law is the hate crime- a wild night of reckless abandon the sort that would leave you with no greater problemin Seattle than deciding where to go for breakfast, can leave you wondering if you will go to jail or lose your job. Just the existence of Utah’s sodomy law would have been a reason enough to pay a little visit but it also happened to be a very special weekend: The General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was taking place. With thousands upon thousands of Mormons from all over the world coming to Salt Lake City. Little did they know that the newly formed Salt Lake Chapter of Queer Nation was throwing its own little wingding- a conclave of the Church of Judy Garland of Fabulous Queers, that would include ten queers from the Queen City itself, along with queers from L.A. and San Francisco. So what did the Mormons do to deserve this little visit? Just about everything, it turns out. Already the league leaders in racial and sexual bigotry, the Mormons have spent the 1980’s bringing up their batting average in heterosexualism too. The LDS Condemnation of extra-marital sex includes queer sex too, but homo Mormons don’t, of course have the option to get married, at least not to a partner of the same sex. Queer Mormons are told to wait for their queerness to go away, and while you’re at it get married, else you can’t go to heaven. And if you can’t handle that? Well, one LDS bishop told one young man that if he didn’t think he could change, he might as well kill himself, which the young man went on to do. The Church has since settled out of court with the family of the young man, but hasn’t changed the doctrine that encourages bishop to tell young “saints” to pull the trigger, which is why we are here. And what a crowd it was! Two score queers clustered around the south entrance to Temple Square dressed in assorted Queer regalia. Many carried tasteful signs stating “Every Tenth Saint is A Queer!, and others wore tags identifying themselves as “Elder Spinster” and Sister Twisted”, missionaries from The Church of Judy Garland of Fabulous Queers. The Salt Lakers rewrote several Mormon “hers” which were then sung to the bewildered Saints. Various chants arose from the Crowd, including “A Fag Designed Your Clothes” and Saints With Attitude? Mormons That’re in the Mood Don’t just stand there, let’s get to it/top The Hate there’s nothing to it. The Seattle Queers sang their own battle anthem, “If You’re Queer and You Know It Strike A Pose” The non-queers reaction varied. Early in the afternoon, they were quite taken aback and rushed past us to get to and from their conference.
1994-Dwindling donations and a shortfall in federal funds have prompted the Utah AIDS Foundation to cut hours and staffing, even though demand for its services is rising. ``The support has gone down and the people we're trying to serve has increased tremendously,'' said LaDonna Moore, director of the non-profit Salt Lake City organization To cope with what Moore called a ``financial crisis,'' the agency will be closed Fridays. One staff member was laid off, anothers hours were reduced and the remaining 17 employees have taken a 20 percent pay cut. ``It's bound to impact how many folks we can serve,'' Moore said. A recently completed state survey showed why the demand for the program's services has increased. It found the AIDS virus may infect as many as 6,400 Utahns, an increase from previous estimates. But Utah's rate is still low compared to other urban areas. The Utah Department of Health survey included 30,193 patients hospitalized in Salt Lake City and Ogden between 1988 and 1993.Of those, 92 tested positive for human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which is widely believed to cause AIDS. Based on Utah's 1992 population, that means between 3,600 and 6,400 people may be infected with HIV. Previous informed estimates ranged from 2,400 to 4,500, said George Usher, HIV/AIDS surveillance manager in the Utah Department of Health. The survey included all hospitalized Utahns who had blood drawn. Once the patients' diagnostic tests were completed, the leftover blood was tested for HIV. Since 1983, 506 Utahns with AIDS have died. That does not include another 194 people whose AIDS was diagnosed elsewhere but who died in Utah. Staffers at the AIDS Foundation do not need health department figures to quantify the toll of AIDS. The agency offers crisis counseling, grief therapy and a statewide hot line. It provides companions for those who have no family to be with them when they die. Last year, its food bank fed 100 people with AIDS and their families. And volunteers deliver 20 hot meals every week to people unable to leave their homes. That program, supported by Holy Cross and LDS hospitals, will not be disrupted by the reduced hours, Moore said. The foundation also provides community education and prevention, including outreach in the state's parks and bars and among its population of prostitutes. ``We do everything from clothing to food to psychotherapy,'' said Moore, who said she is most worried how the Friday closing will affect clients in need of crisis counseling. ``Anyone who is suicidal or just diagnosed, any of our walk-in population, you'd have to be concerned about anyone who would find us closed.'' She said the funding shortfall was caused by an increased demand for services at the same time as donations fell. The decline in donations has numerous causes, Moore said. ``Apathy. Grief weariness. There are a lot of people who don't believe that being gay is OK,'' she said. ``Anyone who sees AIDS as an issue of morality and not a public health issue is going to impact us.'' Moore said she is counting on a June 18 ``Walk for Life'' fund-raiser to help pull the agency out of its financial hole.( 04/06/94 Page: SLTribune)
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| David Nelson & Al Gore |
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| Mike Zuhl |
1997- 4th Annual DIG (Diversity Is Great) Awards held at Memory House at Memory Grove. Awards were given to Jane Marquart a Lesbian member of the Utah Bar, Marlin Criddle for his work with the Utah Stonewall Center, Carrie Gayler for her Anti-Violence Project service, Walter Larabee for his fund raising efforts, Richard and Rennee Van Wagner for their involvement in Family Fellowship, and Lifetime Achievement went to Don Austin and Brett Clifford. Organization of the year was the Goodtime Bowling League and New Organization of the Year was the Queer Aquatic Club. 1997
- DIG AWARDS 6 April 1997 Memorial House, Memory Grove Park Canyon Road 150 East 400 North At this time we would like to welcome you all to the 1997 Diversity is Great Recognition Banquet. As the co-chairs we hope that tonight will give you an opportunity to meet some of the people who have made Utah a better place for all of us to live and that it will be an inspiring time for all. We hope that when you leave here tonight that you will be as proud of this community that you live in as we are. Our recipients are a part of the vast numbers of people it takes to create change and keep our community vital. From Logan to St. George and every place in between there are Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and heterosexual people who continually fight for our rights. This evening we would like you to take the time to think about the people who have helped you and made it possible for you to be proud of who you are, as well it is also a time for you to recognize the effect you have had on others because of who you are. Started in 1993 as a fundraiser for the Utah Stonewall Center, our hope is that the Diversity is Great Recognition Banquet will become a rallying point of all of the Utah Community. Again this year we are not only recognizing our Diversity Recipients but a group of volunteers, members and/or employees of different clubs, organizations and businesses that have been an outstanding asset to their group. As well as two of the many wonderful and important organizations in this community. "You don't have to be on the news or be an activist to make a difference. Many people make a difference just by being openly Gay or lesbian and proud of that fact. There are also those in the straight community that stand proudly with us and fight for equal rights for all people. Maybe someone is a good listener or gives their time and/or money to an organization or a cause they believe in. Think about the people who have influenced you or made an impact on your life. Then take a moment and tell us about them." They could become the next Diversity recipient. We are grateful to all of you who helped make this evening possible. In every instance when we have asked for help the answer was yes. That in and of itself makes a great statement about the wonderful community we are all a part of. We have done our best to remember all those who were part of this evening. If we have forgotten to list your name, please forgive us and know that your help was greatly appreciated. Again, Thank-you all for being here tonight and please remember that this is a fundraiser for the Utah Stonewall Center. So "DIG" deep. Renee Rinaldi, Alan Ahtow, Kevin Hillman Mistress of Ceremony: Ms. Becky Moss Guest Performer-Gigi Love Singer/Songwriter Gigi is from Arlington Texas and has lived in Utah for five years. We want to thank her for taking the time to be with us this evening. She states that "I am inspired by all human experience and feel that unity and diversity can walk hand in hand." On April 11th Gigi and the Gigi Love Band will be at Ashbury Pub to celebrate her birthday. They will be there all month and you need to check the Private Eye for all the dates and times. Her CD "Scorpio Rising" came out in December and can be found at Salt City CD's, Blockbuster, Grey Whale and Media Play. "Artistic expression is the doorway for promoting change in the world."-Gigi Love
- GOODTIME BOWLING LEAGUE: 1997 ORGANIZATION OF THE YEAR With some very humble beginnings at the U of U bowling lanes in the early 1990's, the Goodtime Bowling League has become one of the largest weekly events in Salt Lake. They meet every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. at Bonwood Bowl, 2500 South Main Street from September to April. The main focus has always been fun but over the years the group has grown from eight teams to over twenty and even more people come every week to just support their favorite team or player. One of the highlights each year is to see what all of the new team names will be, and of course, the biggest night is when they all dress up for Halloween, a must-go-and-see night. The League is Utah's only mixed Gay Bowling League and is a sanctioned League as well. The League has also given back to the community over the years. As one of their ads state; "We are for any and all, novice or experienced. Come join us anytime or just come to watch." To get more information on how to start the ball rolling call (801) 487-4338.
- QUEER UTAH AQUATIC CLUB: 1997 NEW ORGANIZATION OF THE YEAR Started a short time ago, QUAC has proven to be a winner. The Queer Utah Aquatic Club is a member of the International Gay and Lesbian Aquatics (IGLA) and as such, hosted their first meet on February 15th with teams from San Diego, West Hollywood, Washington DC, Atlanta, as well as other areas from around the country. QUAC and IGLA's purpose is to provide participation in aquatic sports by lesbian women, Gay men, and friends of the community. QUAC believes in providing maximum accessibility for men and women in a Gay-positive environment, and welcomes anyone who feels positive about, and is supportive of Gay people to participate or to attend any of the their swim meets. Not only do they want to provide a balanced program of recreational fitness and swimming; they also seek to facilitate a variety of social activities for members and friends. If the success of their February meet is any indication of where they are headed, then they should be a valid and fun group for many years to come. For more information about QUAC call the QUAC-line at (801) 323-7171.
- ORGANIZATIONAL AWARDS Outstanding Members, Volunteers or Employees of Clubs, Organizations, & Businesses Presenters Jill Andrews and Kris Begtsson VOLUNTEERS OF THE YEAR [Claire Malmstrom -Family Fellowship], [Gary Gorman-Utah Gay Rodeo Association,] [Bryan Guiot- Utah Stonewall Center]- [Ian Wolf Salt Lake Xchange]- [Karen Blackwood Salt Lake Xchange]- [Jim & Pat Brannan U.S. West EAGLE]- [Lynn Taylor PFLAG]-[Marshall Brunner Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire] [Michael Chase The Pillar] [Randolph Prawitt The Pillar] [Doug Wortham The Pillar] [Bruce Harmon The Pillar]
- DON AUSTIN & BRETT CLIFFORD: 1997 LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD RECIPIENTS Presenter Richard Cottino “Don Austin and Brett Clifford have been active members of Salt Lake’s Lesbian and Gay Community since the 1970’s Together they have lived a life of example that would stack up against any “traditional” family. Their 22 year relationship stands as an example that the commitment between two people is worth more than the paper it is written on. Throughout the years they have been involved in community action and outreach such as the picketing of Anita Bryant when she performed at the Utah State Fair. They have been there at the Pride marches, rallies, and meetings throughout the years, showing that our relationships do matter and we do have worth. Through his work as an LCSW, Don has helped countless clients through the early and frightening days of the AIDS pandemic: through the uncertain coming out process, and the horror of abuse. His current practice is proudly advertised as a practice geared towards issues of homosexuality. Through his work with National Association of Social Workers, Don has helped to bring awareness of the Salt lake community to national attention. Don has also been a tireless volunteer for numerous organizations, most notably serving on the board of the PWA Coalition, where he chaired their first awards banquet, an annual event that has become a major fundraiser for the organization. Brett has been there with Don throughout the past 22 years. He has served as a volunteer for the UAF (Utah AIDS Foundation) answering the hotline and helping with volunteer training. His insights into human nature and disarming gentleness have been able to help numerous volunteers to understand the importance of the UAF and the importance of their role in that organization.” Richard Cottino (1996 Lifetime Achievement Recipient) stated, "It was through my introduction to Brett as a volunteer that I realized that all the years of stereotypes I had been hounded by were simply lies. As a Gay man I had worth, I had dignity and I had a place in society. That awareness is a gift for which I can never thank him enough." To recognize one you have to recognize both, for they are two parts of a whole; both leader and supporter, advocate and ally, friend and family. Don and Brett have been role models to many in our community. Showing through action that Gays and Lesbians have worth, dignity and a place in society.
RICHARD & RENEE VAN WAGONER: 1997 DIG AWARD RECIPIENTS Presenters Millie & Gary Watts “ The Van Wagoners are the caring and loving parents of five children, two girls and three boys. One of their sons, Nick, the youngest is Gay. This past year they have been very out as parents of a Gay son. They have been on the TV news at least twice this past year, telling their story, and showing the world how proud they are of their son. The Van Wagoners were so troubled by the hate rhetoric, myths, and misunderstandings of Gay issues during the 1996 legislative session that, after getting the permission of all five children, they offered their story to the Standard Examiner, with the promise that it would not be edited in any way. In the weeks following the publication they received over one hundred calls and over forty letters and cards commenting on the article. This article has since been published in booklet form and has helped and inspired many families. Richard and Renee belong to and are on the board of a support group for LDS families with Gay members called Family Fellowship. They co-chaired a parent conference for Family Fellowship held in Salt Lake City this past year, where over 120 people attended. Being raised in Utah, and having raised a family here as well, they are very familiar with the many challenges that can come to someone who is homosexual, as well as to the family of that person. Mr. and Mrs. Van Wagoner have been active in the Mormon Church all their lives. Richard has been a Bishop and/or a member of the Bishopric three or four times, as well as having served on three High Councils. Renee has served in many leadership positions, including Relief Society President. The Van Wagoners also hold a monthly meeting of Reconciliation in their home where thirty-five to fifty people gather together for food, fellowship, and religious lesson. They are Mom and Dad to many who have faced rejection from their own parents. Both are teachers and so they have many talents that help them in sharing their message with those around them. Richard has taught for forty-three years in the Weber area thirty-nine at Weber State. Renee teaches at Ben Lomond and always has an open door to whoever needs a listening ear. Richard and Renee are true examples of people who believe Diversity is Great. They are strong advocates for Gays and lesbians in Utah both in voice and action.”
CARRIE GAYLER: 1997 DIG AWARD RECIPIENTS Presenter Jeff Freedman “Carrie Gayler came out when she was seventeen years old and has been working to improve the lives of lesbians and Gays ever since. She is committed to our community and has been involved in many organizations. While Carrie was a student at Utah State she was the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Cache Valley. At the time it was the only Gay and lesbian organization in Logan with a membership of more than 50 people. Upon her return to Salt Lake she became involved with the Anti-Violence Project. As the chair of this organization she established Gay and lesbian sensitivity training for all rookie cops. She created a training program for the Rape Crisis Recovery Center that included Gay and lesbian issues for their crisis line volunteers. She also eased the burden of many victims of hate crimes and worked toward legislation that would increase the punishment of those convicted of hate crimes. Carrie was the chair of the Lesbian and Gay Community Council of Utah, a council whose purpose was to bring together all Gay and lesbian organizations for networking and unity. With her spare time she somehow found a few hours a week to sing with the Lesbian and Gay Chorus of Salt Lake City for two years and be a co-chair of the Diversity is Great committee for the past three years. Currently Carrie is the co-chair of the Utah Pride Committee. Pride Day is an annual event which takes place concurrently in cities around the world. The event has grown so large in Salt Lake City that it has become a weeklong extravaganza. This year the Pride Committee is expecting more than 10,000 participants. Pride Day is being celebrated this year on Sunday, June 8th in downtown Salt Lake City at Washington Square-complete with a parade and all the trimmings. Even though Carrie is still twenty-something she has accomplished many things and enriched the lives of many people because she is not afraid to get involved and do the work.”- MARLIN G. CRIDDLE: 1997 DIG AWARD RECIPIENTS Presenter Craig Miller As agraduate student at UCLA, Marlin took his first steps into the world of Gay and lesbian culture. He went to the recently opened Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Community Center where he met others from UCLA. He became involved with the UCLA Gay student organization and attended the first Gay and lesbian student conference there. The speakers on the agenda were Christopher Isherwood and Frank Kameny. Marlin invited his LDS bishop to attend a session on religion (he did). Later he came out to his LDS ward during fast and testimony meeting. After graduating from Loyola Law School Marlin became a member of Lawyers for Human Rights, a Gay law group in Southern California. In 1989 he moved to Salt Lake City, where he intended on staying for only a short time, however that all changed after attending a rally about the Ann Frank exhibit. Shortly after that he met his partner David Turner and has been a part of the Salt Lake City Gay community ever since. In 1991 as a member of the Pride Committee, Marlin produced the first Gay and lesbian film festival in Utah. As a fundraiser for Pride, he showed two films at the Utah Art Center. The next year he showed four films and accompanying short subjects at the Utah Art Center. From 1992 to 1995 he served as the first ever chair of the board of the Utah Stonewall Center. During his time as chair, he became involved with Community Shares/Utah where he served for one year as vice-president and then another year as president. Recently, Marlin held the first meeting of a professional group for the Utah Gay and lesbian legal community. Just so you don't think Marlin is all work and no play, he is a fan of square dancing and would love to get a Gay and Lesbian group started here in Salt Lake. So let him know if you have an itch to do a "Grand Right and Left". Marlin has been a quiet inspiration to many in the Gay and lesbian community. He has changed lives for the better because of his dedication and commitment.
WALTER LARRABEE: 1997 DIG AWARD RECIPIENTS Presenter Kevin Hillman “There are very few Gays and lesbians in this town who have not seen Walter performing with the Slip Ups. If you are one of the few who haven't you need to seek them out. The Slip Ups perform mostly with not-for-profit organizations at fundraisers, and are dedicated to using their talents to create good will and to serve the lesbian and Gay community. Walter was one of the founding members of the Slip Ups in 1989, and has been performing with them ever since. Walter is a native of Salt Lake and has lived most of his life here. He did make a quick trip to California from 1987-89, but headed back to Utah where he felt more at home. During his time in LA he performed with the Campers, a comedy camp drag group. But that is not where he got his love of performing. It all started in school and church road shows. That's where he got the bug. After graduating from high school he attended BYU where as he put it; "I was asked to leave". From there he started to polish his skills as a performer. At his first voice lesson he was so bad that the teacher suggested that he not come back. He never gave up hope and today is still singing and fronting a group of female impersonators every Wednesday night called "Boys to Women". In 1993 Walter became Empress XVIII of the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire. He served in that position from May of '93 to '94. One of the many things he did during his reign as empress was to issue a proclamation in the Royal Court bylaws establishing an annual show to benefit an arts organization in Salt Lake City. As a charitable organization, the Royal Court has fundraising events throughout the year, and generously gives it back to the community. Walter has been a part of that generosity for eight years and is now serving as a member of their board of directors. For many years Walter was the Meeting Coordinator for Affirmation. For six years he served as a leader in this organization which was established as a support and social group for lesbians and Gays with a Mormon background. When Walter was asked what motivates him to be so involved in the lesbian and Gay community he said that he has a strong desire to give something back, to be a part of a foundation of helping others. He remembers when he was young and coming out, that there were many people there to support and guide him. It made an enormous impact on his life. His goal is to be there for others like the people who were there for him. Walter has pushed the envelope for many years and showed that who you are is more important that what you do or what others thing you are. He's proud of who he is and wants others not be afraid of who they are. If putting on a little makeup and a wig on helps people to laugh, and for a minute realize that we are people just like them with feelings and a life, then more power to them. Walter is a role model to many young people in the community. He doesn't understand completely why. But those who know him know that it has as much to do with his positive attitude and love of life, as it has to do with all of his hard work.” JANE MARQUARDT Presenter Suzanne Marelius “Jane Marquardt is a leader in the legal community and the Utah State Bar. As an attorney and a publicly-out lesbian, Jane has been a positive role model for many in our community. Jane graduated from the University of Utah College of Law and has been practicing for twenty years. She is a founding partner in the prestigious law firm of Marquardt, Hasenyager and Custin. As a lawyer, Jane has been a mentor for many young lawyers. She is always willing to share her experience and knowledge of the law and avails herself in the capacity of teacher/trainer whenever possible. Recently she organized a training on Gay and lesbian legal issues for all of the Judges in the state of Utah. This was a very powerful training session coming from a lesbian attorney. In 1984 Jane was named Young Lawyer of the Year by the Utah State Bar, and in 1989 the women lawyers named her Woman Lawyer of the Year. She is past president of the Weber County Bar. Currently she is serving as president of the Utah Bar foundation, the Utah State Bar charitable fund. Recently, Voir Dire, a semi-annual publication of the Litigation Section of the Utah State Bar published a full-page article calling Jane "a credit to the profession". This article prompted a letter from a homophobic attorney in town attacking Jane because of her sexual orientation. In response to his letter, another letter was printed in defense of Jane and her work. This second letter was signed by more than 120 local lawyers including Attorney General Jan Graham and many other prominent attorneys. Jane and her partner Pauline have been together for fourteen years. Together they have raised three children through their teens and into their twenties. Throughout Jane's life she has been a shining example for the lesbian and Gay community. We are proud to honor her tonight.
2001 After a fake kiss during a stage skit, a Layton High School student running for student body president saw his name stricken from the ballot. The student contestants put on skits for an election assembly but when one dressed in a dinosaur costume, faked a kiss to another male student, who was wearing an ace-of-hearts get-up, some students and administrators took offense. Salt Lake Tribune Page: D1 'Kiss' Gets Student Kicked Off Ballot Layton High junior can't run for school president after campaign skit found to violate rules TRIBUNE STAFF and NEWS SERVICES LAYTON -- After a fake kiss during a stage skit, a high school student running for student body president saw his name stricken from the ballot. Layton High School junior Talmage Garn was one of six students vying for the office in a primary election this week. The student contestants put on skits for an election assembly Monday. But when Garn, dressed in a dinosaur costume, faked a kiss to another male student, who was wearing an ace-of-hearts get-up, some students and administrators took offense. "I was told my skit had homosexual innuendoes," said Garn, who said he is not gay. Garn was on stage with a friend, Jacob Northern. The two gave a speech about why students should vote for Garn. After the speech the two turned to each other, pretended to kiss, wrestled and danced. "We were about six inches apart," Garn said. "It was a funny skit and wasn't offensive in any way," said Andy Estebo, one of Garn's friends and campaign workers. Principal Paul Smith said all students running for student body offices are told what they can and cannot do in their skits. But Garn said candidates were told only to keep their skits G-rated. Garn said he learned Tuesday -- the second day of voting on the campus -- he was being yanked out of the race after a 7-5 vote by the school's student standards committee. He also complained that three students on the committee weren't allowed to vote because they were late to the meeting. "It's unfair to me and a lot of the other candidates," he said. "A lot of people who voted for me -- their votes didn't count." He appealed the decision and met with the committee Wednesday to plead his case. The committee said it found the air kiss offensive, and objected to a rip in his costume through which his gym shorts poked out. His father, Utah Republican lawmaker Kevin Garn, also visited Smith Wednesday to discuss the school's campaign policy. Garn was not singled out, Smith said. When asked if the kiss was the reason why Garn's name was pulled off the ballot Tuesday, Smith said, "I don't know if I want to get into that." But Garn said the school did nothing about a skit in which one male candidate flirted with a male student dressed as a girl or another skit that poked fun at the way Smith handled a hazing incident. Some backers circulated a flier at the school Thursday saying Garn had been "robbed" and urging students to complain to the administration. "I really didn't think this would happen. I didn't think I would get in trouble," Garn said.
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| Boyer Jarvis |
2003 Page: AA3Utah Voices: Confessions of a Recovering Homophobic: How to Open Your Eyes By Boyer Jarvis On a Saturday morning several years ago, as I was reading The Salt Lake Tribune, I came upon a news headline that instantly drew me into the text below it. The article reported that a husband and wife, who recently had moved to Utah, were trying to establish a Salt Lake chapter of a national organization called Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Reading that article brought to mind thoughts of wonderful friends of mine, both here and elsewhere, whose sexual orientation was different from my own.The Tribune story gave the time and place for the PFLAG organizing meeting, and, for friendship's sake, I decided to attend. After the dozen or so people present at the meeting had given brief self-introductions, it was obvious that I was the only person there lacking a close relative who was gay or lesbian, or who was not him/herself a homosexual. I decided, as a friend of lesbians and gays, that I wanted to be a founding member of the Salt Lake chapter of PFLAG. Being part of the local PFLAG organization has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It has been my privilege to become acquainted, and then to become friends with, truly outstanding citizens who just happen to be parents of gay or lesbian children. More importantly, PFLAG has opened my eyes to my own homophobia and has motivated me to try to understand the origin of, and to try to overcome, that unfortunate condition in my relationship with other human beings. Looking back to my long ago teenage years, I now am embarrassed to recall times when, along with others, I made what I thought were harmless jokes about "homos" and "queers," when, without an instant's hesitation, I would have objected strongly to jokes about Jews or Negroes. I simply was unaware of the phenomenon of homosexuality. By the time I was in college, I had encountered the term "homophobia," and, without knowing it then, had become friends with a number of closeted homosexuals. As defined in the Random House Dictionary of the English Language, homophobia is "unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality." It is my conclusion that, unlike the instinctive act of breathing, homophobia is a learned response. As children we learn to speak the language that we hear being spoken by our parents and/or other caregivers, and in a similar fashion we acquire attitudes of all kinds, often including the negative attitude of homophobia. Unfortunately, we live in a homophobic society. The consequences sometimes are tragic, as when a young gay man is beaten, tied to a fence and left to die, or when another young gay man, no longer able to endure the rejection of his church, commits suicide. Less dramatic consequences of homophobia confront gays and lesbians on a daily basis. They are denied ordinary privileges that the rest of us take for granted. As a member of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, I have become a recovering homophobic. A recovering homophobic, in my view, is a person who first has become aware of at least some of the ways in which he or she has been programmed by society to assign a second-class status to homosexuals. The next stage of my recovery has been taking action, as best I can, to confront, and hopefully to change, public policies that discriminate against my homosexual brothers and sisters. At the moment, I do not know what the third stage of my recovery will be. To the late state Sen. Pete Suazo, and to his widow, Alicia, I give thanks for their efforts to pass hate crimes legislation to protect minorities, including homosexuals. To state Reps. David Litvack and Jim Ferrin, I give more thanks for their determined advocacy in the most recent legislative session of House Bill 85, intended to provide enhanced penalties for crimes motivated by the perpetrator's disapproval of the victim's race, religion, ethnicity, age, gender or sexual orientation. Litvack's and Ferrin's insistence on including sexual orientation in the list of protected groups of people created formidable opposition to HB85 among their fellow legislators. After achieving a 38-35 vote in favor of the bill, they decided to withdraw HB85 in order to avoid a seemingly inevitable defeat after the bill was reconsidered in the House. From the episode described above, I choose to believe that for at least a few minutes on Feb. 27, 2003, there were 38 (partially?) recovering homophobics in the Utah House of Representatives. With nothing more than hope to go on, I choose to believe that among my fellow citizens in Utah there are many thousands of people of good will who, like me, are recovering homophobics, who acknowledge the essential goodness of people whose sexual orientation is different from their own and who are willing to speak out in favor of equal rights and equal protection for homosexuals in our society. ----- Boyer Jarvis, professor of communication emeritus at the University of Utah, lives in Salt Lake City.
2003 Thursday The next meeting of the GLBT Community Coalition is scheduled for THIS THURSDAY, April 6th at 6:30 PM in the middle meeting room here at the Center. Although we've not met for a couple of months I'm hoping that we can come together to talk about the future of the coalition. Do we see the value of a coalition? If yes, what would it take to have the coalition be effective and play a key roll in capacity building? If our group concensus is to continue building the coalition we'll likely need to establish a primary team to facilitate administrative procedures and run meetings. We'll likely also need to establish a few goals for ourselves. I could say lots more but I think its much more appropriate for our group to decide the direction and what's needed to fullfill upon the mission and vision of the coalition! Please RSVP if you can attend and pass the word to others who might be interested. "The GLBT Community Coalition is a community wide coalition working toward a unified, proactive, and healthy community in Utah. Our vision is a cohesive, empowered, and mobilized GLBT Community."
2006 The next meeting of the GLBT Community Coalition is scheduled for THIS 6:30 PM in the middle meeting room at the Center. “Although we've not met for a couple of months I'm hoping that we can come together to talk about the future of the coalition. Do we see the value of a coalition? If yes, what would it take to have the coalition be effective and play a key roll in capacity building? If our group consensus is to continue building the coalition we'll likely need to establish a primary team to facilitate administrative procedures and run meetings. We'll likely also need to establish a few goals for ourselves. I could say lots more but I think its much more appropriate for our group to decide the direction and what's needed to fullfill upon the mission and vision of the coalition! Please RSVP if you can attend and pass the word to others who might be interested. "The GLBT Community Coalition is a community wide coalition working toward a unified, proactive, and healthy community in Utah. Our vision is a cohesive, empowered, and mobilized GLBT Community."
2006 As an elementary school teacher I hear it all the time out of the mouth of babes, the homophobia that is taught at home and in society in general. Kids call each other "gay" to humiliate and hurt each other. When I have students sing songs with the word "gay" in them, kids giggle and think something dirty is being suggested. One "progressive" boy even told the class that gay use to mean happy until some "weirdo" changed it. Some People are missing the point over the protest against Larry Miller being asked to be a keynote speaker at the University of Utah. Comparing his selection to that of Michael Moore's visit to UVSC is comparing apples and oranges. It is not about the issue of free speech. Michael Moore was not asked by the UVSC administration to be a keynote speaker. Michael Moore was asked to share a political view by the student government; a view that is rarely expressed in Utah County. The protest against Larry Miller is more against the university recognizing someone who clearly does not value all Utah's citizens but only the straight ones, a view that is espoused by the majority. Miller's refusal at the time to explain his pulling of Brokeback Mountain from his theaters and his temper tantrum towards a KSL reporter is one of several reasons why people question Miller's choice as a speaker. After all the bashing Gays endure in this state especially during this past legislative session, it is impossible not to question the University's decision. But then money talks the loudest in Utah." Ben Williams
- Michael Aaron wrote: Hey Ben, This would make a great letter to the editor. May I use it? –Michael Ben Williams wrote back: Its yours since SLTribune didn't want it. LOL
2006 I have a great deal of respect for Chris [Christine] Johnson. As the President
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| Christine Johnson |
of the Campaign to End AIDS, I am also very grateful for her support. Few members of our community have demonstrated as much commitment to helping people living with HIV/AIDS as Chris. I also serve on the Board of Stonewall Democrats with Adam Bass. He is the most brilliant political mind in our community, not to mention his tireless commitment to our community. In typical journalistic style the article regarding the two of them spun things slightly askew. Adam did not take this action as a member of the Stonewall Board. Adam, like many of us wears many hats. As Democratic Leg Chair it was Adam’s responsibility to bring Chris Johnson’s residency issue to light. The part about the Stonewall Democrats was “journalistic license”. Think about it folks. If Chris Johnson won the Democratic Nomination and then the Republican Party brought the residency issue up 2 days before the election, and you know they would, what would happen? We would lose a traditionally Democratic seat. By addressing the issue early the Democratic Party was protecting its interests, and hopefully leaving the door open for Chris Johnson to have a chance. Stuart Merrill
2007 Presenting Gay Camp! USU Pride Alliance will be having our yearly Bear Lake retreat April 6th - 8th. Some of the things that we have planned for this years retreat are a sexuality discussion and safe sex presentation with the Genesis Project from Idaho State University, an exercise and physical health seminar, gay-themed self defense training (including firearms training for those wishing to participate) , a presentation on the gay identity by Ben Williams, a discussion on breakups and how to move on with Charles Diviney from Pride Counseling, team building exercises, and many other games and activities. Last year everyone had an amazing weekend and benefited greatly from this retreat and this year will be even better. The cost of the retreat is $25, to help pay for the cost of the facility, food, and activities. Please RSVP by April 3rd If you have any questions or would like to make a reservation email Jaydee Blackburn
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2009 How we met: Love will conquer many things THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE The couple » Geoffrey Clark and John Clapp, Salt Lake City How they met » Love comes at times least expected by those willing to see it. My name is Geoffrey Phillip Clark, and I met the man of my dreams, John Douglas Clapp, at a gay men's retreat at the Jewish Community Center. We were introduced by a friend we both knew, whose name we will forever remember. It would be a lie if I said it wasn't love at first sight. The retreat lasted for several days, giving us time to get to know one another. We indulged in a variety of activities, such as learning more about gay history, swimming, karaoke, self defense and a massage class. I told him I was raised in the LDS Church but converted to Islam, and he found that truly intriguing. All the while, I couldn't believe that he was more than the average gay man. As time progressed, we began dating, and not much longer afterward, John asked me the one question that would change our lives forever: "Would you marry me?" Without a doubt in my mind I said, "I will." John had never in his life thought it possible to marry the man he loved, but I always thought I would. We began to plan our wedding nuptials for March 2009, but regrettably, Proposition 8 was being pursued more than expected. After a discussion, we made the choice to get married as soon as possible before the ban on gay marriage might pull through on Nov. 4. Together, his hand in mine, we flew to California with plans to marry on Sept. 26, 2008. My sister Brittany and her husband, Abdul, along with John's close friends, Wayne and Bryce, were the witnesses at our wedding ceremony. Under a trellis of scarlet bougainvillea, we locked hands and declared our love would forever be real. Send us your love story Is a wedding in your future? We would love to hear the story of how you met, and include your wedding details on our new Web site, www.slbrides.com.
2014 Man knocked unconscious defending gay friend, police say BY MICHAEL MCFALL
THE SALT LAKE Salt Lake City police are looking into a reported assault as a potential gay hate crime. Two males were involved in a verbal dispute Friday night with a group of other males who “took offense to the perceived sexual preference of the victims,” according to a Salt Lake City police watch log. Detective Greg Wilkings clarified Monday that, as far as the police know, one of the two males is reportedly gay and the other is straight. The pair was standing on the sidewalk near 370 S. Main Street when, about 11:30 p.m. Friday, one of the suspects approached them and punched one of the males, knocking him unconscious, according to the watch log. It appears that the reportedly straight victim was the one who was punched while trying to stick up for his friend, according to police. The suspect then ran off. The victim’s friend tried but failed to catch the suspect.
2014 The human equation: 16 gay Utahns, 8 marriages, 1 theme: love Stakes are high and personal for these couples and thousands more. BY BROOKE ADAMS | THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE For 17 days this winter, same-sex couples from throughout Utah leapt at the chance to marry. They came from small towns and big cities. They ranged in age from 20-somethings to 60-somethings and counting. Among them were retirees, health care professionals, dairy farmers, educators, state and county workers, school district employees, lawyers, politicians, sales reps, stay-home moms and dads, people who work in publishing and for nonprofits — in short, they came from every walk of life. A Salt Lake Tribune analysis found that about 1,200 marriages took place in 22 of Utah’s 29 counties; a majority (61 percent) were lesbian couples. Some have been together years; some for decades. There were couples exchanging rings and vows for the first time, in a moment they never imagined would be possible. Many had already celebrated their love with commitment ceremonies; some had married — often multiple times — in other states, but decided there was no place like home to make it official and so queued up all over again to say, “I do.” Those slips of state-sanctioned paper put legal security within reach. Yet fear lingers, and not just about the validity of those marriage licences. Some couples declined to speak to The Tribune because they fear loss of jobs, other discrimination or public ridicule. The marriage window opened after three couples — Derek Kitchen and Moudi Sbeity; Laurie Wood and Kody Partridge; and Karen Archer and Kate Call — challenged Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage. U.S. District Judge Robert J. Shelby ruled Dec. 20 that the ban was unconstitutional. On Jan. 6, the U.S. Supreme Court put Shelby’s decision on hold while the state challenges it before the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver. That hearing is Thursday. Those couples’ lives are displayed for inspection in thousands of pages of court documents, shared in courtrooms from Utah to Denver and, perhaps someday, Washington, D.C. But the story is not just about them. It’s about these people, too.
- Gene W. Hiibner, 64, and Darren N. Wold, 50, of Mendon, Cache County Professions • Gene and Darren are dairy farmers. Met • In 1982, at Utah State University. Darren was a student, while Gene had a part-time job tutoring students taking Italian — though Darren wasn’t in his classes. Married • Dec. 24, 2013, in Cache County. Gene on falling in love • We just got along well. I fell in love with him and that was it. I don’t know that there was any particular big reason. It’s pretty tough when you’re a farmer. You have to find someone who will like that lifestyle because it’s a lifestyle. Darren on falling in love • I fell in love with Gene because of his kindness, his caring. The way he treated me was very special, and then I was able to watch him deal with his parents and farm animals and could see that he had a deep caring for creatures and humans. Gene on being married • After 30-some years, it just seemed that was what we should do. It was finally possible. I never expected it would be possible in this state. When we heard it on the television that night, Darren asked me to marry him and I don’t know if I answered him but I began to cry. All I could manage was a nod of the head. We had gone through all the legal things of establishing estates and power of attorney, but you were never quite sure it would hold up. And this way we have the same rights as our parents had. Darren on being married • Being married to me means security — never being forced or being able to be put apart from Gene.
- Annalee Howland, 35, and Rickelle A. Lamb, 27, of Price, where they live with their two children Professions • Annalee works for a nonprofit organization. Rickelle is an assistant manager at a restaurant. Met • In 2010, after being introduced by friends while living in St. George. Married • Dec. 23, 2013, in Carbon County. Annalee on falling in love • There are so many reasons. She’s the most sweet, unconditionally loving human being I’ve ever been so lucky to know. Rickelle on falling in love • It was because of her sassiness. And because her strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa, and she keeps me very grounded. Annalee on being married • I never thought in my lifetime that Utah would allow gay marriage. When the news broke, I was so shocked; I thought that’s so awesome. We’d talked about being married, but we didn’t want to run out and get married just because we could. But as the days kept going and the movement started and the judge didn’t grant a stay we thought, “We should do this.” The day we married was our three-year anniversary. I’m still in shock, let’s be honest, but nothing has changed. We have a wonderful relationship and we were already living like we were married. I have an amazing wife. That’s what really matters. Rickelle on being married • I like being able to know I’ve got a companion, and I’ve got a good one. It was really special for me, the whole moment. We wouldn’t change anything about how it happened, how it went down. I’m a lucky woman.
- Liana Teteberg, 70, and Lisa Yoder, 55, of Summit Park Professions • Lisa is a county sustainability coordinator. Liana is a health care consultant. Met • In December 2008, via Match.com and began dating on New Year’s Day 2009.Married • Dec. 23, 2013, in Summit County; July 8, 2013, Orcas Island, Wash.; Buddhist wedding ceremony, Sept. 5, 2010, in Salt Lake City; commitment ceremony, Aug. 7, 2009, in Summit Park. Liana on falling in love • We’re kindred spirits with shared values, a shared love of family and activities. It was pretty much everything about her. I loved her spirit and her integrity, her artistic talents and her willingness to love my family. It all fell together like it was supposed to. She’s clearly my better half. She brings out the very best in me — and I don’t know how she does it. Lisa on falling in love • She got me. She understood me. She didn’t have to question everything or ask, “What do you mean by that?” She understood my sense of humor. I love talking with Liana. She’s wise, smart and has a very optimistic and progressive view of things. She’s totally accepting of people — she brings out the best in people. She has a very generous heart. Liana on being married • It is my way of protecting Lisa. Chances are I’ll pass on before her, and I wanted to make sure there was no question about how our trust was to be administered — or any confusion if one of us is ill about who is in charge: It is our legal spouse. Being legally married gives me the right to say, “I want you to notify my spouse and her name is Lisa Yoder.” To me, it’s made a huge difference. There is a recognition that we now have rights in the eyes of the law and that eases our relationship. Marriage doesn’t make any difference in how we love each other. That was cemented in commitment ceremony with our families. Lisa on being married • I married to assure the same rights defined by the thousand or so laws that apply to heterosexual couples are applicable to us as well. It’s a matter of equality. But mostly it’s because I love her.
- Doug Lott, 55, and Charles Lynn Frost, 59, of Salt Lake City Professions • Charles is an actor and executive director of a nonprofit organization. Doug is a truck driver. Met • Unofficially in 2001. Charles spotted Doug seated on the front row, west side, during a performance of “The Laramie Project” produced by Plan-B Theatre Company. Charles spent the rest of his time on stage, trying to avoid eye contact; Doug kept trying to make it. Officially, in 2002, at a bar after being introduced by one of Charles’ friends. Doug: I asked for Charles’ number but when I called two weeks later, he didn’t remember me. I had to remind him I was wearing a black cowboy hat. They say in gay years, two weeks is a lifetime! Charles: It wasn’t until date three that I realized he was the cowboy at the play. Married • Dec. 26, 2013, in Tooele County; Sept. 15, 2011, New York. Doug on falling in love • I fell in love with his intelligence, his sense of humor. There is a great deal of depth and strength in the man. There just seems to be so much. He just gives and gives. He is very loving. I love his children, and they treat me wonderfully. We were together when the first grandchild was born. It was a wonderful experience to share. The whole picture is amazing. Charles on falling in love • The old adage that opposites attract is very true. He’s tall, I’m short. He’s blue collar, I’m white collar. He’s quiet and shy, I’m an extrovert. He can repair anything. I’m, “Call the repairman.” But we love a lot of the same things — wine, theater, dogs. It was a really good fit. We complement each other really, really well. We knew on date one that we were soul mates. Plus, he’s incredibly hot. Doug on being married • I’ve always felt committed and married to him. We never thought much about marrying until our oldest granddaughter saw a picture of us taken at someone else’s wedding and asked if that was when we got married. I thought it would be neat to be able to say, “Yes, we’re married.” My twin sister is a lesbian. She and her partner, who had cancer last year, have been together for about 21 years but were unable to travel out of state to marry. Then came the Utah ruling, and they asked us to get married along with them. [They chose Tooele because the wait lines were likely to be shorter, a consideration for his sister’s partner.] We do have wills and all that stuff, but it would be nice for Charles to get my Social Security, to have equal rights. I enjoy having the community and our friends know we are committed enough to get married, that we have a loving, committed relationship and take it seriously. Charles on being married • I always knew I was gay. When I was 20, I went to my LDS bishop and said a woman was in love with me and I loved her but didn’t know what to do. He knew I was gay. He told me that if I married her, it would go away. And if I had children, it would go away faster. We married. We had four children in four years. I repressed my sexuality for a few years, but you are what you are at the core, and I always knew. I also wanted to be a father and raised these kids. I had a choice about staying or leaving. I chose to stay for 19 years. When my life was imploding, I decided I wouldn’t live a lie like that ever again. When marriage equality was just starting to rise as an issue a few years ago, we talked about whether we would marry if we could. I was ambivalent. We studied the issue, talked to a lot of people and realized it was an issue of fairness, justice and equality. We became big advocates of marriage equality. The rapidity with which it’s happened has left me flabbergasted. A decade ago, I never thought I would see marriage equality in my lifetime. And definitely never in Utah. Society is realizing love is love and people deserve to choose who they get to be in love with. That’s why marriage became so important to us.
- Ann Marie Martin, 66, and Pauline E. Gill, 69, of Moab, where they live with their dogs, Mikey and Lily Professions • Ann was director of medical staff services at Holy Cross and then Salt Lake Regional hospitals. Pauline was a pharmaceutical representative for Roche. Met • In 1969, while sharing an apartment with two women in the Avenues, though neither was out then. They met again in 1985 on the dance floor of a gay bar in Salt Lake City. Married • Jan. 4, 2014, in Grand County. Ann on falling in love • I did not think I had those leanings until that night at the bar. When I saw her, I knew she was the one I would love — despite the fact that she was a woman. I really felt like she was the one I was looking for. I told my brother once that I simply fell in love with a woman instead of a man, as if I had no control and it was as normal as it could be. I still believe that. I’m an all-too compulsive person, and she brought thoughtfulness and real kindness into my life. She is very thoughtful of me and others and she is extremely kind, and that is a balance in my life I realized I really needed. She balances me in a way that allows me to be myself. Pauline on falling in love • When we were in the apartment, I didn’t even really think about her. I wasn’t actively pursuing women and I wasn’t sure what some feelings I had really meant. But when I saw her on the dance floor, I just knew I really wanted to pursue more of a relationship with her. We went skiing the next day, and we’ve been together ever since. Being with her is like coming home. She has a quality of lightness that keeps me laughing. Yet when we are quiet, I feel a deep sense of enjoyment being with her. Her energy is solid. I feel that she will always be there for me. Pauline on being married • Our relationship has really stood the test of time. I have the relationship of my dreams, where one is not valued above the other and there is no one person who has the last say about matters concerning both of us. During our ceremony, there was a time for our friends to commit to supporting us in our relationship. When you get married, it makes the relationship more defined for yourselves, but also for your friends. They know. They look at us differently. And they’ve heard us say how we feel about each other. Ann on being married • The first person I wrote to in an email to say I was married was my ex-boss, who’s also a good friend. I wrote that we were able to legally solidify our 30-year relationship. It was a process where we confirmed our love, and it had a huge spiritual significance to me, not just legal, but spiritual as well because it was a confirmation of this relationship we’ve had for so long.
- Kamrin, 33, and Manuel Carver, 44, of Salt Lake City, where they live with their three children Professions • Kamrin is a training manager for a software company and a wedding officiant. Manuel is an interior designer. Met • In June 2004, at Club Vortex after that year’s Pride Day festivities. Married • Dec. 20, 2013, in Salt Lake County; 11-11-11 at 11:11 a.m., New York City; commitment ceremony, March 12, 2010, courtesy of QSaltLake Magazine. Kamrin on falling in love • I had grown up thinking to be gay meant never being in a relationship that was serious and long lasting. Those were the stereotypes told to me, and I believed them. He is the first and last person I ever dated. In our “Cinderella slipper” first meeting, I fell in love with his selflessness. He had so much love to give that in that short time I knew I was only seeing the tip of the iceberg, and I wanted to see what was under it. I’m still discovering his love. Until meeting him, I had never felt that safe, never felt that confident, in my future. What I saw on that first day is what I have been seeing every day since. I knew if I let this guy go, it would be the biggest mistake of my life. Manuel on falling in love • I saw him and I thought, “Wow, he is hot!” Then I observed his interactions, behavior and passion for life and I thought, I like this guy. I fell in love with Kamrin’s energy, his smile, the way he moves. He’s a gentleman. It’s easy to talk to him. Kamrin keeps us focused on community, purpose, something beyond ourselves. He is always looking to improve our relationship and to keep our lives interesting. I love the adventures he takes us on and the life he has created for us. He works incredibly hard to give us a better life and provide for us, for which I am grateful. And he’s really good with our children and always looking for better ways to raise them. Kamrin on being married • We’ve got kids, we’re building a house, we have a life we’ve spent 10 years building together. It’s all mine technically. If anything ever happened to me, it would be absorbed into the legal system and not go to Manuel. It’s a sickening thought. Coming back to Utah from New York, I had a sad feeling in my stomach that what we had just done meant nothing. We wanted it to mean something. After marrying in Utah, I was in tears for days afterward. Every time I would wake up and realize we’re not second-class citizens any more. It’s changed us on a deep, deep level. Manuel on being married • For me, the marriage is a legal document, a contract. It’s a protection for me and for him, so we can be protected under the law and be treated equally. Was there a change emotionally? No. Legally? Yes. There is a change. Now you are accepted in this community. Now I have a document to tell these people who think we’re not equal that “guess what? We’re equal.” We have a document, and you can’t fight that document.
- Kara L. Draper, 21, and Heather L. Solano, 25, of Pleasant Grove Professions • Kara is a cafeteria worker at an elementary school. Heather is a team leader at a call center. Met • In November 2011, at a self-actualization seminar. Kara was volunteering, Heather was a participant. Mutual friends had previously suggested to each woman that they meet. Married • Dec. 31, 2013, in Utah County. Kara on falling in love • How could I not? What attracted me first is that she is so very, very honest — and her ability to make me laugh. We clicked. No one had anything bad to say about Heather. Heather on falling in love • I fell in love with her smile. To this day, I can’t help but get warm feelings when she smiles at me. I fell in love with her childlike personality, the way she laughs super hard at kids’ movies. I am able to talk to her and share things I have never been able to tell anybody. Kara on being married • Coming from an FLDS [a polygamous sect in southern Utah] background, I was taught that the sole purpose of a woman was to get married and pop out babies. I wanted people to realize my relationship with Heather is just as important as relationships are to straight people. She is my world. It’s been really, really fun. I like being introduced as her wife, rather than her girlfriend. It takes it to a new level. The clarification is good.Heather on being married • I had proposed on Oct. 17. We were planning to get married in California or somewhere else where it is legal in 2014. But we thought it was really cool and jumped at the opportunity to get married in our home state. It’s been somewhat challenging just because currently I’m not even able to have Kara added to my insurance. With some of the legal aspects, we are recognized — we were able to file taxes together — and with some we aren’t recognized. I would like everyone to recognize we are a couple, we’re married, this is my family. It’s been awesome, the things we are looking at and planning and how we are creating our life. Whether [the court ruling] sticks or not, we are married and we married in front of friends and family. That is what really does matter.
- Tony, 40, and Paul Redd-Butterfield, 45, of Sandy, where they live with their two children. Professions • Tony is an engineering professor. Paul is a stay-home dad and cooking instructor.Met • In 1992, at a friends and family night at the Stonewall Center, now the Utah Pride Center. Tony came with his parents; Paul was alone. Each thought the other was someone’s straight friend or relative. Tony: I always say it was love at second sight. Their first date was a week later. They haven’t been apart since. Married • Dec. 23, 2013, Salt Lake County; Aug. 5, 2008, San Diego; March 1, 2004, San Francisco; commitment ceremony, Aug. 5, 1995, in Utah. Tony on falling in love • Paul was one of the kindest people I’d ever met. He had a high sense of morality. Our values jelled. I’ve been out since I was 16, and I hadn’t met someone like that before. I was just very lucky to find him. We’ve experienced so much together, from the birth of our kids to building our house and developing our careers. That history — you can’t express it. Paul on falling in love • He is the kindest and most honest person I know. He is a hard worker and doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. Family is first in everything he does. Tony on being married • The first time we were married took care of the emotional aspects of being married and solidified our relationship in front of family and friends. This time we married because, without those legal rights, Paul is left very vulnerable if something happened to me. I can rest assured that, if something happens to me, what we own together becomes rightfully his, there are not huge taxes taken out of it, and he can be on my insurance. It was to be able to take care of him the way any stay-at-home parent deserves to be. Paul on being married • Why get married in Utah? It’s where we’re from, where we’ve chosen to live, where our family is. All the kids in our kids’ classes are complete family units and we feel like we are, too, and feel it is important to be recognized by the state and have our relationship valued by society. It felt like a big sigh of relief to marry in Utah. I think I knew it was too good to be true, that something would happen [to block the marriages], but it just felt like, “Finally!”
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